Reflecting on the New Nurse

New nurses are so young, or am I just getting that much older? They have the look of youth wearing the latest hair styles and lack the lines around the mouth and eyes that I've obtained through the years. The biggest physical difference between the young new nurse and me is our hands. My face may not show the age (or some kind souls tell me), but my hands belie the years I have spend caring for the patients who seek help from me. They are more wrinkled than I'd like and if I momentarily lay them down neck to a new nurse, the lines and age are show quickly in my hands.

I can live with the physical differences. My hands show my maturity and and I have used them to the best of my ability. What bothers me most about the many new nurses, not all, but many, is the lack of compassion and the attitude of "your bothering me kid" that I see in so many new nurses starting their career. I might expect that from a nurse who has been at the bedside for 20 years, but not from a nurse who should be wide eyed and full of compassion. When did this change? When did the nurse become the aggressor towards the patient? When did the lack of common decency lose it's ability to reign supreme?

As a new nurse, I would never have thought to yell at a patient because they were taking up too much of my time. I would never have told the family that they will be taken care of when "I can get around to it, and besides, you could have gone to the doctor's office anyway." I may have thought it; but those words never escaped my mouth.

I can't tell you how many times I have bit my tongue and swallowed my pride just to nod and let a patient vent. The new nurse feels that she doesn't have to be treated in such a terrible manner nor will she allow such a thing. I have to admit, there comes a time when you must be stern with a patient and their family; but the time to do that is not from the first moment of contact.

I find keeping a patient informed, even if it's just a brief update will keep even the most persistent desk visitors at bay. All they want to know is that they are in the loop. I don't think that's an unreasonable request.

Being health care professionals and knowing the doctors on a more personal level gives us the privy to look things up in the chart and read about what is going on. These patient's family members do not. They are left at our mercy to do even the simplest of things, like using the restroom. Can you imagine how demeaning that can be?

Recently, I have noticed that new nurses, a few in ER, ICU, CCU and telemetry have become hardened in the heart which projects a negative attitude towards the patient. The patient feels they are an intrusion to the nurse; when it is the nurse that should feel like she is the intruder into the family circle. Yes, it is our job to take care of the patient to the best of our ability, and sometimes that means that we must do that to the cost of the patient/family bond. Ultimately; however, as soon as possible, we should quickly allow the bonding of the family unit to continue.

On my death bed, it is not the nurse I want to see as my last vision on earth; it is those that have loved me through all of my faults.

If I could give a new nurse some advice, I think it would be to leave your mouth shut most of the time; and listen with two ears and your heart. Not to mention, hold a hand once in a while and singing a nice song goes a long way - even if you think you can't carry a tune in a bucket.

I've been a nurse for a long time, I'm the one that should be cold and tainted; but I am finding out that it is not I that shout and proves my authority - it is you.

Please, restrain, refrain, bridle your tongue and let only the kindness of your heart fill the ears of the patient. I know, it's harder to do than one might think, but well worth what is giving back in return.