Selfish

It's been 4 days since I've posted and I'm going through withdrawl. I'm angry because there has been so much going on lately that I have very little if any "me" time. I'm very coveteous of my "me" time and I get cranky when I don't get it.

Part of my "me" time is writing what I need to say to keep me whole and sane. It reminds me of who I am and where I've been. It just doesn't give me insight into my future until I read through a few of my previous blogs and think to myself "I wrote that?" But, as I've said in my sidebar, those are my thoughts "at that time," not all the time. Getting my thoughts out and in the open allows me to review myself and either change or enhance my behavior.

Today, even the title of my blog seems all wrong to me. A perpetual search is never ending and nirvana only comes in fleating moments. Is that the way one should live their life; continually searching for those tiny moments of ecstasy? Why not be happy in the NOW? But then I think, if we lived in a perpetual state of nirvana, our sympothetic nervous system would become overloaded and we'd die. A fact. Constant overexciteablity of the SNS can just kill you. Ok....so the title stays..... I'll still search....and enjoy those brief moments of nirvana. In the meantime, I'm going to try more and more to enjoy the NOW as well.

But you can't stop me from grumbling if I want to.......so there!